Announcement, with Coda

So the California AP awards are out, and Michael took 1st Place in Sportswriting. The newspaper, not the writer, gets to keep the actual plaque though. This being Michael's fourth AP award, I am feeling increasingly cheated of the opportunity to line them up on our (nonexistent) mantlepiece and boast. Well, one out of two...

Let me just clear my throat first...

Ahem.

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To the sportswriters of California, and their spouses*:

Yeeeeeeeeeah bitches, my husband writes better than you and your bitch spouses! It's not just that he makes the job look good--I know he already had you beat in the style department when he bought his second pair of matching shoes. But I'd like to reiterate that he does his job better than you, and now he's number one in the whole state. What's that you say? Your honey got number two? How lovely for the pair of you bitches. I'm sure you'll be very happy with your new award, which isn't as good as his, and which will mightily fail to impress the judge who gets stuck arbitrating your sordid, squalid divorce.

*I would use a more general term than "spouse" but I've literally never met a gay sportswriter.

I (f---ing, f---ing, f---ing hate) Huckabees

Anna has made her opinion clear on David O. Russell.

Apparently famous Cass Tech graduate Lily Tomlin feels the same way. And, incidentally, David O. Russell also hates Lily Tomlin. Here's a link from defamer to some outtakes from I (Heart) Huckabees. I doubt they'll be online very long, but I'd suggest not listening to them at work unless you can have the sound to yourself. Lots of cursing.

Duke is out

A lot of people are taking pleasure in Duke's eliminated from the NCAA Tournament. This is not surprising. Back when Coach K was beating the UNLVs of the world, it was a guy that does things right toppling the thuggish. Now that Coach K's public image has turned legitimately insufferable, many people root for Duke to fail spectacularly. I'm not necessarily one of them. I actually got to observe Coach K operate at close range. I went to Durham back in November to cover a basketball tournament. It was interesting to watch him operate. He does sometimes come across as smarmy on television. But in press conferences, he simply speaks with the confidence of someone entirely secure in his position. He's a god on the Duke campus and he knows it. I guess I don't really have a problem with that.

Anyway, here's why I was rooting against Duke this year. After leaving Duke's victory over Georgia Southern, I saw some big dude in a bright red shirt walking ahead of me. As I got closer I indentified the bright red shirt as a Manchester United jersey (Wayne Rooney's jersey, in fact). Then I identified the big dude as Duke center Josh McRoberts, who missed a key free throw late in last night's game. And it made perfect sense. Of course someone from Duke would be wearing a Manchester United jersey. The two institutions occupy basically the same role in their sports. My guess, he probably sleeps in Lakers pajamas on New York Yankees sheets.

In which I Dodge a Potential Social Faux Pas

There has been some shuffling in the sports information office at the school I cover. A woman they hired has since left. Her replacement is, actually, the man she replaced. One of his sports is softball, and he returned at what proved to be tail end of a winning streak. The team split a doubleheader, dropping the first game.

After the first game the new SID said, "Well, now they're going blame me when the losses start coming."

"So you're like The Cooler," I said.

He had never heard of the movie. The film stars William H. Macy, the suddenly totally-fucking-awesome Alec Baldwin and Maria Bello. Macy plays a guy who works in a casino whose job it is to cool down people when they start making money at the tables. He meets Bello and his luck starts to change. The film also includes some extended nude scenes and fairly upsetting violence. I don't know what his feelings are about those things in movies. Suddenly, I fear that I've sent a person with whom I must maintain a working relationship to see a film that could completely offend him. That would be bad.

"It's a little dark," I added.

Credit for Other People's Work

In these days during which Jeff is so much on all of our minds, we thought you might like to be reminded of some of his early work.

I especially recommend Rough for Actors II: An Act without Vowels, or Thanks for Nothing.