Free-Floating Hostility

Monday, April 09, 2007

When the Cat is Sat, Anna will Play

Last week we house/dog/cat-sat for Dara and David. These are excerpts from the notes they left us:

"Firearms: There are several in the closet. No need to worry, however, as they have all been disassembled."

"Cats: Eh...Dara can tell you about the cats. I hear they need food and water...and Zea will try to sleep on your face." Zea never tried it, but when Nisa wanted us to wake up she would simply stand on our faces.

"Catnip: if you're so inclined, you can give them each a little pinch of catnip on their catpole. Watch for claws thereafter, they get carried away when they're drunk." I drugged them whenever I couldn't figure out what they wanted.

"The vacuum cleaner has a belt issue; I recommend not using it to avoid explosion."

"World of Warcraft: You can play any of my characters or make your own. If you want to make Horde characters, you will need to change realms."

I actually did play forty minutes or so of Nerdcraft on principle. I thought my character should resemble me as much as possible, so I created a pink-skinned, brown-eyed, short-messy-brown-haired rogue gnome with no earrings. I was promptly dropped down into a snowy, woodsy world full of white people. I decided to call it Denmark. At first it was very intimidating, and when some blue dude circled around me looking like he wanted me to do something I panicked and quit. Then Jeff got Sheryl to join me in Denmark, presumably while he practiced self abuse, and the dwarf named TyraB and I played. Well, mostly we jumped up and down, actually, cause I couldn't figure out how to move (remember my trouble with Halo?). But then Jeff fixed it and I was able to pull myself together well enough to kill eight wolves; I no longer recall why I was supposed to kill eight wolves, but I was promised something like nice boots if I came through. My gnome stabbed them and made high pitched noises when she got bitten, while Tyra bludgeoned them with a large wooden mallet. I got my nice boots. Then came the dancing. The "dance" command produced a Michael Flatley type jig in Tyra, but my gnome did a booty dance with hip hop accents.

That, as far as I've been able to tell, is the whole game.

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