Free-Floating Hostility

Sunday, January 09, 2005

What do you think Chuck D has to say about this?

The Times reported Sunday that not only are 80s rapper Flavor Flav and 80s starlet Brigitte Nielsen deeply in love, things are going so well that they are getting their own reailty show.

The show in on VH1 so I don't have much hope for the relationship. Compared to its Viacom sister MTV, VH1 is all about trainwrecks. If it's not rerunning the "100 Best Celebrity Brawls," like E! without intellectual pretense, it's showing C-list stars trying relate to each other on "The Surreal Life." Who ever thought that we'd look to MTV as the family values channel? But MTV gave us "The Osbournes" and "Newlyweds," shows that depict loving though not highly functional families relating to each other.

Flav's participation in this enterprise is probably the saddest part of it all. He was part of Public Enemy, which was a brilliant and subversive group. Chuck D went on to Air America and is a relatively respected commontater these days. Flav has decided to create a television show whose premise seems to be, a short aging black dude dates a Scandinavian giantess and hilarity ensues.

Flav was famous for the clock he wore around his neck. All I have been able to do since reading this story is picture Chuck D walking up to random people and this scene playing out:

Chuck D: Hey, do you know what time it is?
Random person: 4:20?
Chuck D: No. It's time's not to hang with that sell-out embarrassment of a former partner of mine Flavor Flav and his washed-up no-talent hack of a girlfriend.

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