Guns Don't Kill People, Dick Cheney (Nearly) Kills People

In light of Dick Cheney shooting his friend in the face, Schmool explained quail hunting to me today. He hunted quail once and actually almost got shot by someone he described as, "a can short of a six-pack."

Schmool says everything really depends on the type of dog you're using to hunt. If you use a pointer, the dog finds the bird and points (with its whole body). This alerts both the hunter and the quail to what's going on. The bird then tries to escape in an irregular pattern. If you're hunting with partners and everyone is trying to follow the flight of the bird, it increases the chances that you'll shoot at each other. If you're using a lab to hunt, the dog will try to chase the bird. And as long as you keep the dog in front of you, it will direct the bird away and generally into the line of fire. When you are hunting, of course, this is a good thing. Of course it's best for the bird to be in the line of fire instead of your buddy because you don't want to shoot him in the face like Dick Cheney did to his friend.

When you hunt quail you use 28-gauge shotguns so you can kill the bird, but not destroy it. If you shot it with a regular bullet, the bird would explode and you couldn't carry it by the neck like a tough guy. Shotguns fire pelletts not bullets, which gradually separate in mid-air. The 28-gauge is less powerful than the 12-gauge. If a person stood 60-feet away and someone fired a 28-gauge shotgun at you, it wouldn't kill you. It would just burn. So that's why when Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face, it didn't kill him. Sorry if this is elementary or if you've already read this today, but you're talking to someone who managed to spend 11 years in Detroit Public Schools and learn nothing about guns or cars.

It was a little ridiculous to watch the White House Press Corps complain at the daily briefing today that they weren't immediately told of the incident. They had to read about it the Corpus Christi Caller-Times just like everyone else. Apparently, nothing pisses off the national press like the local press. That's good to know. This sounds like a calculation on the part of Cheney's people. The media loves media stories. So in the reporters will be distracted by their own slights and forget that Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face.

As you can see, I'm having a little trouble getting over this story.