Mike has a Master's Degree in Science

Last night, Michael and I were having a back-and-forth, the topic of which now eludes me. Anyway, and some point after the is not/is too phase, I said, "prove it!" and the following dialogue ensued.

Mike: I did prove it. I conducted a scientific study.
Anna: Oh really? What was your source population?
Mike: The entire human race, except for you and me.
Anna: I see. What was your exposure of interest?
Mike: Hmm?
Anna: And what was your outcome of interest?
Mike: That I am right.
Anna: Intriguing. And what kind of data analysis did you use?
Mike: The red kind.
Anna: And what were your p values?
Mike: What are p values?
Anna: [explains p values]
Mike: My p value was zero.
Anna: Great study. I'm totally convinced.
Mike: Good, cause I'm publishing.

At this, of course, he made the international sign for publishing and circled his own nipple with his finger. The origin of the international sign involves Jeff's nipples, therefore I will bow out of explaining it.