More on Schmool
So here are some more stories:
One night, drunken Schmool walked into his sleeping roommate's bedroom and starting shaking the bed.
Schmool: Hey (roommate), is that your bed talking?
Roommate: No, go to bed Schmool.
Roommate then gets up, and locks his door. Then 30 minutes later, Roommate hears his doorknob turning. "Is that your bed talking?" Schmool yells. Eventually Roommate asked Schmool to move out after discovering that Schmool's cat had pissed on his pillow. Of course, given Schmool's habit of relieving himself whereever and whenever when drunk, one wonders if said cat was just taking the fall.