Free-Floating Hostility

Monday, January 15, 2007

Factchecking Statboy

It's no secret that I am now a soccer fan, so I'm sort of excited that David Beckham is coming to America. This has been rumored for months, and my only regret is that he's not going to Columbus or Salt Lake City, which simply would have been brilliant. Can you imagine how the Mormons would react to Posh? And goodness, can you imagine what abuse she'd give the girls at the Columbus Nordstroms on a daily basis?

I'm not sure that his presence will get me to watch MLS, but the idea that he's washed up is a little bit premature. He's not fast anymore, but he was never fast. I watched him in the World Cup, and he can still fire in crosses and bend free kicks. Those things are still very important in within the run of play, although not necessarily as sexy as making long runs and finishing spectacularly. The American season does, however, coincide with the English Premier League's close season so maybe I'll watch him once or twice.

So we were watching PTI this afternoon, and they did a Posh Spice story. Posh will be great fodder for Tony and Mike. But today they showed a shot next to one of the other WAGs, who drew Mike Wilbon's eye. Statboy suggested that it was Page 3 girl Keeley Hazell, who he seemed to think once dated Chelsea's Joe Cole. Both of those are false. Cole did once go to a party at Hazell's house, but then had the living shit beaten out of him while he was there, which made it a big deal in the tabloids. And, also, the woman next to Posh was actually Cheryl Tweedy, who is now named Cheryl Cole because she married Ashley Cole (no relation to Joe). And anyway, the point of this post is what was in Cheryl Cole's wikipedia profile at 3 p.m. today (you have to click it).

It's not there now.

And that's one of the things I like about soccer. It's all about excess.

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