Free-Floating Hostility

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hostylefax: Hollywood

OK, so I didn't set foot in Hollywood proper during last weekend's trip to LA. But I did spend a lot of time driving past the Sony lot. And, I had my route home disrupted by some film crew that had taken over a city block. So that's sort of Hollywood, right? Also, at a Noah's bagels, I was jostled in line by a punk-looking kid with a cell phone earpiece that was picking up an order for "The King of Queens," which is totally Hollywood.

Also I heard this story about an unnamed big-ass movie producer. One day he walks into his office in the foulest of moods, and screams for his assistant to, "Get Scotland Yard on the phone." Well, this guy is so big that he has multiple assistants, and this order is passed down the chain. Finally the person on lowest rung makes the call and sets everything up. After patching the call through, Big-ass producer screams into the phone, "You guys left my gate open today, and the dog got out. What the fuck?" Suddenly, it dawns on everyone that Big-ass producer was actually talking about his cleverly named lawn care company. One can only imagine the baffled police inspector on the other end of the line.

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