Fun with Food

I'm the sort of Jew who won't eat bread this week, but will eat ham.

I didn't even know that people kept Passover before I went away to college and was exposed to folks who hadn't gone to secular humanistic temples all their lives. I started swearing off bread at Passover when we lived in Hobbs. Being the only Jew in a 90-mile radius unless you count Anna, I thought I should mark the occasion with something more than having matz-ball soup along with my Taco Bell. Anyway the tradition still holds, although I sort of make up the rules as I go along. For me that means no bread, nothing that obviously expands like pasta or rice, no corn, no corn syrup and nothing with flour.

During the course of my diet (five months now) I've learned how difficult it is to roll with the punches when other people, and by that I mean various media relations departments, are designing your dinner and not exactly telling you in advance what the menu will be.

On Tuesday I covered a baseball game where the pregame meal was actually a deli buffet. That meant I had to endure Atkins diet taunts as I made my through a lunch of lettuce, tomato, a variety of cold cuts and mustard with a knife and fork. So that was fun. Friday is Kings basketball, where I'll have to figure out a way not to walk in the door, make a bee-line to the pizza stand and wolf down two slices before I've opened my laptop. I'd bring my own matza if bringing your own dinner weren't an offense punishable by extreme taunting and suggestions of amateurism.

I don't know how people keep kosher and function in the world.