Free-Floating Hostility

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Sandal Scandal

So my new friend and classmate Ada turns out to be getting married next summer. Her man, Jody, requested a beach wedding, which was great, except that it turns out he has a profound fear of sandals. It hadn't come up before--I mean, it's an unusual situation indeed in which a woman finds herself promoting the use of sandals--and Ada couldn't figure out why. He couldn't be planning to wear dress shoes in the sand, especially not when he was already sporting a barong to demonstrate his commitment to her culture (by which I mean successfully avoiding having to wear a jacket). Was he hoping to get married in Keds? But with some gentle questioning, the truth came to light. Jody can't wear sandals at his wedding because of Pet Semetary.


I have never actually seen this fine film, but Ada tells me there's a scene in which a back-from-the-dead toddler hides under someone's bed with a scalpel and takes out his achilles tendon. This scene made such an impression on Jody that he has refused to wear open-heeled shoes ever since, and his wedding day was not the day to start. She found some open-toed, closed heeled shoes, and the wedding is still on.

So many people were invited to our wedding we couldn't have promised anyone freedom from scalpel-wielding toddlers.

Anna: I'd really be more comfortable if we left Ned and Linda off the guest list.

Queenie: We were invited to their wedding.

Mike: But their baby is one of the undead. There are too many butter knives to keep track of.

Queenie: We'll pay for the surgery.

1 Comment(s):

  •   Posted by Anonymous Anonymous at September 28, 2006 5:09 PM | Permanent Link to this Comment
  • I have a fear of sandals too. Hate them.

    In the summer I won't ride on the tube because it's full of sandal wearers. Only commute to work by bicycle.

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