Free-Floating Hostility

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill

Lions are fearsome creatures, but white people are stupid. Lion Country Safari, a Florida theme park, is putting up a barricade because people keep getting out of their cars and rolling down the windows. When that happens, animals that are natural predators then to eat other living things. I suppose I'm assuming that it's only white people who are getting out of their vehicles to play with African lions, but I'll wear that.

If you needed any clue as to how dangerous lions are, apparently lions in Tanzania and Mozambique have taken to hunting humans. What worries those who study these things (lionologists I call them) is that it's young lions doing the hunting, not old decrepit lions that need easy kills because they've been cast out. The humans (lunch I call them) are poor subsistence farmers sleeping outside trying to protect their crops from bush pigs. Lions also eat bush pigs. But now the lions like human flesh so much that they are busting into houses and dragging people out. This is sad for the people who are dead. It is also sad for the lions, who will undoubtedly continue to be killed until there are no lions left, or at least until some erects a fence.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that lions should spend more time eating white people.

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