Valentine's Day in the Salt Mines

After answering my home phone last night to hear April’s customary “Hi Mike!” replaced with “What the hell are you still doing there?” I decided to arrive at the basketball game early. In fact, I got there 45 minutes before tip-off (which drew notice because my colleague who covers the men’s beat sometimes shows 45 minutes after tip-off) and was rewarded by uninterrupted exposure to the Jock Jams CD.

Since it was Valentine’s Day and women’s basketball, there was hardly anyone there. There were, however, Valentine’s-Day-themed promotions such as the half-time game where they put three bases out on the court and had a guy answer questions about his girlfriend so he could score. They were also selling red carnations. After the game, Mike the head Sports Information guy walked up with a flower and we had the following conversation:

Mike 1: (showing carnation) I’m not going home empty-handed tonight.

Mike 2: My wife doesn’t care about that shit.

Mike 1: Of course she does. They all say that.

Mike 2: No, no. She really doesn’t.

[Editor’s Note: The above exchange is only funny in the context of the post below it.]

After the press conference, I came back to find the head of another carnation sitting on my computer. “That means I’m going to murder you,” Mark the stat guy explained.