In Which I Highlight Mike's Shortcomings

I would just like to point out that I had a perfectly lovely list of hot girls. That Mike did not see fit to share it with you, and that he did not compose a list of hot men, is somewhat distressing to me. Back in the day, one of the reasons I never wanted to get married is that by the time I was 15 I had despaired of finding any males my age that weren't sexist, racist homophobes. What a cruel shock to realize I married one after all. And he seemed so nice.