The Waiver Wire

Sarah's birthday gift to me this year was the complete first season of Desperate Housewives on DVD. She said she'd gotten into it, and maybe I would enjoy it--you know, a quick way to unwind for forty-five minutes without commercial interruption. Classic pusher talk. She gave me the first taste free and now I'm hooked. And I'm not the only one. Mike apparently has been holding out a candle for Marcia Cross ever since Melrose Place was canceled (for this part I blame Form). And another for Teri Hatcher. And another for Felicity Huffman from her Sportsnight days. In fact, I've decided that hornily nostalgic twenty-something dudes may actually be this show's target audience.

Tonight, we will watch the final episode of the season, after which we plan to abstain until the complete second season is released. As we pause to reflect on how this show has changed our lives, we must acknowledge that the most profound change has been to our shared nerdiness. Besides the fact that we think about it all day long and talk about it when we get home, it has changed our standards for hotness. Therfore, we must announce some changes to our Team Rosters.

YAKIMA DINOS--Sign Teri Hatcher. Release Keira Knightley.
SOUTHBEND BLUESOX--Sign Ricardo Antonio Chavira. Release Chow-Yun Fat.

Don't act so surprised; you know I have a thing for meaty brunets with big noses and facial hair. And let me just express my pride at being married to the only guy in the country more interested in signing his high school pretend sweetheart than Eva Longoria.