Finals Week Reports

I've been seeing a lot of Cookie Man recently because I've been hanging around the computer lab in various attitudes of despair while I attempt to finish his final exam. A few weeks ago he diverted some of us from our homework to show us the microwave detector he got off ebay. He had been taking some flak from other faculty members for always leaving the Epidemiology lounge when the microwave was in use, and he was determined to prove that the danger was real. He went down to conduct his experiment and returned in triumph. There was significant leakage in and around the lounge. Master's students aren't allowed in the Epi lounge, so we spend most of our time pretending to be Social Welfare students cause their lounge has no lock. When I explained that, Cookie Man went down to check out the Social Welfare microwave, and pronounced it even worse. Then he said, "Now you can put this on your blog," words that ensured that eventually I would.

Yesterday I yelped for his help because--actually why don't I not go into detail on what the trouble was with my program. Suffice it to say that as he took command of my terminal I watched as four large chunks of my data disappeared, reappeared and then disappeared again. "What's happening?" I squealed. Cookie Man turned to me with wildly wide eyes and said, "We're on acid!" before making them reappear again. I figured he was at least as punchy as I was with the end of term, but later he apologized to all of us computer lab squatters for "editorializing," which he claimed was a side effect of the sedative he had taken that morning. Then he added, "Want one?" Though I assumed he was joking, it's just as well that one of the other students protested that she was pregnant, as I might seriously have considered saying yes.