Though a Goy, he is Endowed with Great Chutzpah

My mom left for a gig in Upstate New York last week and made it all the way there before realizing that she'd forgotten to return her videos before leaving. Since she wouldn't be back for a week, she was expecting hefty fines. So she put my dad on the case. He called up the good people at Blockbuster and told them in his best James Earl Jones/Santa Claus voice that there had been a family emergency. His wife's aunt was very ill, he said, and would they please not charge them a late fee. They agreed, and today he returned the movies. "I'm sorry about your wife's aunt," the manager said, "I hope everything's alright."

"It isn't," Dad said gravely. "She died."