For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

Tonight was the party celebrating Fritz's retirement from Secret & Secret, Inc. As many of you know, in the coming weeks he will be moving to Nowhere and taking up a Nothing, at None of Your Business. I was sorry not to be there for the party, which Mike tells me was really wonderful (though I've been having way too much fun in the meantime sitting around with my boss and trying to figure out things like why that one p-value is rounded to 0 instead of to 0.0000). It's a good feeling, says Mike, when people call your dad a genius in public and tell you he can see the future. Also when they play old videos of him performing karaoke--I've never seen it but I really, really, really, really want to.

So in honor of Fritz, let me tell a classic Fritz story, which I'm told came up during the roast portion of the evening. This took place c. 1998 during the Lewinski debacle. Someone must have been abusing Ms. Lewinski, because Fritz spoke up in her defense. "I mean, come on, wouldn't you?" he said. "If Lola could bag the president, I'd tell her to go for it." Queenie is said to have responded, "Fritz, you're deranged!" Someone next asked him if he'd still encourage his daughter to go for it if the president in question were Republican, and Fritz considered before answering, "Nah, then it wouldn't be as cool."