In Which Anna Relaxes her Ideology
I have made no secret of my antipathy toward Valentine's Day. This year I spent the holiday at the DMV and the gynecologist's. The DMV trip was nice because it meant Mike and I got to spend about three hours awake in each other's company for the first time in weeks. Mike discovered this morning that his driver's license had expired, contemporaneously with his attempt to rent a car and drive to L.A. to cover a game. We had to make the DMV trip thrice. The first time it was closed, the second time we got an unseasoned DMV employee. She let Mike renew his license but didn't include an interim license in the stack of papers she gave him, forcing the people of Enterprise Rent-a-Car to explain that they couldn't give Mike a car just because he'd given them a form detailing his plans for organ donation.
The gyno visit was fine, too. Being a patient in the Kaiser health system is a little like being a Yugoslavian in the era of Tito, which is a place and time better suited to the retention of dignity and individualism than America on Valentine's Day.
But my busy day still left me a little time for reflection. For instance, my first-year buddy left me SweeTart hearts in my mailbox, and I acknowledge that that was a thoughtful gesture. And Dara showed me the valentine Paola sent her: complimentary descriptions of Dara, turned into a word jumble, which is creative and cute. So basically, I'm prepared to say it's okay to send valentines to your friends. This is not wholly out of keeping with my original position, though I'd still prefer to play first-person shooter games.
More imporantly, I am hereby lifting my blanket condemnation of celebrating the holiday with current or prospective sexual partners. You now have my blessing to celebrate Valentine's Day with your lover if you are any of the following:
1) Gay
2) A Hutu dating a Tutsi
3) Trying to escape an arranged marriage
4) Quadriplegic
Why these exceptions? Because if you've answered yes to any of the four, then that means that the rest of your waking life will not necessarily be one long, hearty congratulation on your choice of sexual partner. So go ahead, take an extra day to celebrate, and good for you for being brave.
The rest of you? Just pull yourselves together and try to get through the day without forcing any single people to get involved with whatever perverts are currently posing as their soul mates. I have my eye on you.
The gyno visit was fine, too. Being a patient in the Kaiser health system is a little like being a Yugoslavian in the era of Tito, which is a place and time better suited to the retention of dignity and individualism than America on Valentine's Day.
But my busy day still left me a little time for reflection. For instance, my first-year buddy left me SweeTart hearts in my mailbox, and I acknowledge that that was a thoughtful gesture. And Dara showed me the valentine Paola sent her: complimentary descriptions of Dara, turned into a word jumble, which is creative and cute. So basically, I'm prepared to say it's okay to send valentines to your friends. This is not wholly out of keeping with my original position, though I'd still prefer to play first-person shooter games.
More imporantly, I am hereby lifting my blanket condemnation of celebrating the holiday with current or prospective sexual partners. You now have my blessing to celebrate Valentine's Day with your lover if you are any of the following:
1) Gay
2) A Hutu dating a Tutsi
3) Trying to escape an arranged marriage
4) Quadriplegic
Why these exceptions? Because if you've answered yes to any of the four, then that means that the rest of your waking life will not necessarily be one long, hearty congratulation on your choice of sexual partner. So go ahead, take an extra day to celebrate, and good for you for being brave.
The rest of you? Just pull yourselves together and try to get through the day without forcing any single people to get involved with whatever perverts are currently posing as their soul mates. I have my eye on you.
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