Celebrity Poker Face (None)

So my old friend Erin, law student and famously cool customer, has been dating this lawyer for a while. This lawyer, Shawn, turns out to be Mariah Carey's nephew. If I ended this post right here it would already be the funniest thing I've ever told you.

But I'm not going to end it there. I'm going to tell you about Erin's big night at Mariah's album release party last week. Certain stimuli will transform my ice princess into a gusher: dogs ("Puppy! puppy! ohmigod you're a puppy!"), weddings (she sobs, in some cases during the rehearsal), and apparently famous people. Not all famous people; she'd already seen Puffy, so that was boring, but Erin says she began clapping her hands together and shouting "Oh my god" every time she spotted someone else, so much so that Robin Williams apparently turned to her and shouted, "Oh my god, it's me!" She also had an interesting run in with Randy Jackson, who thought Shawn was dating a 12-year-old until Erin stood up. "You unfold nicely," he apparently told her, and referred to her as "Shawn unfolding" for the rest of the night. I guess this means Randy Jackson is an asshole when he's hungry. If Shawn hadn't spilled something on Erin's dress, she would have gotten to meet Denzel.

I saw Rick Moranis once, and I started crying.