Southern California Part II: Ridiculing Other People's Religions
My apologies for failing to get this up yesterday. I was called away on some urgent business.
Before we attended the Dodgers game on Monday, Joel gave me the guided tour of Los Angeles. It's a tour, he informed me, that used to include long looks at places where we wasn't hired to work. Anyway, the tour took us down Hollywood Blvd., both the good and seedy parts, past Mann's Chinese Theater where the starfuckers were lining up to watch people enter the Batman Begins premier. Speaking of Katie Holmes, a few blocks down from the theater is the L. Ron Hubbard Life Museum. Hubbard is the founder to the Church of Scientology and apparently such an awesome motherfucker that he gets a museum devoted to his life. We had been driving for 3 hours (I mean it was the Los Angeles tour) so we stopped to see just what was there. We were met at the door by an attractive woman with an indeterminate accent that Joel suggested came from the planet that the Scientologists think we desended from. I don't know whether Scientologists actually believe that or whether the woman was, in fact, a space alien. I do think that fringe religions generally put the attractive women in charge of trolling for converts because when I visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City last September, I found the missionary tour guides strangely titillating.
We paced around the lobby looking at the testimonials to Scientology that ranged from a former governor of Arizona to the woman who does Bart's voice on The Simpsons. The strangely attractive guide tried to get us to go on a 45-minute tour, but we decided that we hadn't put enough money in the parking meter and that we had to get to Dodger Stadium. We arrived 40 minutes before the gates opened, but luckily the L.A. Times had an article about how batshit insane Tom Cruise has become, especially when it comes to his religion.
Earlier on in the tour we had passed a Kabbalah Center that Joel informed me was the Kabbalah Center, not some low rate one. No Esther sightings to report.
Before we attended the Dodgers game on Monday, Joel gave me the guided tour of Los Angeles. It's a tour, he informed me, that used to include long looks at places where we wasn't hired to work. Anyway, the tour took us down Hollywood Blvd., both the good and seedy parts, past Mann's Chinese Theater where the starfuckers were lining up to watch people enter the Batman Begins premier. Speaking of Katie Holmes, a few blocks down from the theater is the L. Ron Hubbard Life Museum. Hubbard is the founder to the Church of Scientology and apparently such an awesome motherfucker that he gets a museum devoted to his life. We had been driving for 3 hours (I mean it was the Los Angeles tour) so we stopped to see just what was there. We were met at the door by an attractive woman with an indeterminate accent that Joel suggested came from the planet that the Scientologists think we desended from. I don't know whether Scientologists actually believe that or whether the woman was, in fact, a space alien. I do think that fringe religions generally put the attractive women in charge of trolling for converts because when I visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City last September, I found the missionary tour guides strangely titillating.
We paced around the lobby looking at the testimonials to Scientology that ranged from a former governor of Arizona to the woman who does Bart's voice on The Simpsons. The strangely attractive guide tried to get us to go on a 45-minute tour, but we decided that we hadn't put enough money in the parking meter and that we had to get to Dodger Stadium. We arrived 40 minutes before the gates opened, but luckily the L.A. Times had an article about how batshit insane Tom Cruise has become, especially when it comes to his religion.
Earlier on in the tour we had passed a Kabbalah Center that Joel informed me was the Kabbalah Center, not some low rate one. No Esther sightings to report.
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