Free-Floating Hostility

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Today is the Greatest Day I've Ever Known

Not. Today was totally fucked. What happened to me today should be a cautionary tale to disobedient children. It was the emotional equivalent of finding blood in your urine. If I had galley ships I would be sitting in them right now ignoring Agamemnon. If I had hurricanoes I'd be on the heath mouthing off (actually, there was a tornado in Natomas yesterday, but you'd never know it from here). If I had an attic I'd be pacing up and down it on all fours and biting people to protest Mike's bigamous marriage to the governess.

Don't be alarmed, I was not the victim of any agression and I will be fine sometime soon.

However, I am too pissed off to relate my sob story, so if you really want to know what happened to me today, ask Mike, and bring the world's tiniest violin. Since the former is at work and therefore not blogging, I will, through clenched teeth, focus on the three bright spots in this infected day. I will mix my metaphors when I damn well please, so park your mouse right there, BrooklynDodger! You do not want to mess with me right now.

1) Speaking of teeth, my new dental plan has worldwide coverage, meaning that if I can get a Saturday appointment I can fly into New York for a weekend and have my own dentist in Poughkeepsie take out my wisdom teeth. She's a genius, and just about the only person to have ever touched my teeth. I was her first child patient when I was about five.

2) The woman who cut my hair today (grrr I hate getting my hair cut) has a cat that is half siamese and half bobcat. That's pretty damn cool. His name is Nigel.

3) Someone from the clinic recently quit, and apparently the higher-ups' refusal to give me a permanent position was the last straw. Which is flattering, and that's why it's a bright spot.

Tomorrow I have two things on the docket.

1) Missing Gigi's Mom's funeral, which I'm really sad to be missing and

2) Starting a new job, which is why I have to miss the funeral. I sincerely hope I am more pleasant by tomorrow at 8:15 am or this could be a really unprofessional first day.

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