Free-Floating Hostility

Thursday, May 05, 2005

What Kind of Girl do you Think I am?

What would be the most sensitve approach to a blog posting on sexual harassment? Obviously the best plan would be not to post about it at all, but it's just too funny.

Yesterday, as I have already hinted, our small office hosted a meeting involving four people, two chihuahuas and a unicycle. Yesterday the beta chihuahua started throwing up. Today he must have been feeling better, because he started humping the alpha. If you've never seen a Chihuahua's erection, cherish and protect your innocence. So with all this going on, and with my boss working about 5 hours a day because she's already told the big boss that she's actively seeking employment elsewhere, my work life can be a little overwhelming. My boss has my back, though, and today she took me aside and gently broached her concern that I was being sexually harassed.

Actually, she didn't call it sexual harassment, she called it "being forward." My boss is concerned that I have been receiving untoward attention from Keith, the guy who told me about black widow spiders. This is oh, so, very, very amusing. At the risk of sounding naive, I will point out not only that I am an old married lady, but that Keith is an old married dude shortly expecting his first child who typically addresses me as "bro." My chief complaint against Keith is that he recently dropped a fax machine on my thumb. But I guess I just look hapless or something, cause my boss's protective instincts were stirred.

I made the mistake of sharing this with Keith later by email (just to be clear, he gave his permission for me to blog about this). I thought it was hilarious, and so did he, but then he asked, " am I sexually harassing you?" A true gentleman. He went all serious for a minute or two until I told him he was being a girl about it and he threatened to staple my eyelid to my elbow and everything was back to normal.

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