What's in Mike's Vocabulary?

Once again, I am short on stories. Not much is likely to happen around here unless I can get one of the ergonomics guys to weigh in on the advantages of typing with a chihuahua in your lap. So, in lieu of narrative, I offer lexicography. These are some terms I've been overusing recently:

• Pie Hole. I picked this one up when I was still working at the clinic. A certain coworker was complaining that she'd had to talk on the phone all day to patients, repeating "I've been talking all day and I don't want to talk anymore," to which April muttered, "If she's so sick of talking, why doesn't she just shut her pie hole?"
• Farcocked (pronounced roughly as fuh-COCKT and spelled however you please). I've been saying "farcocktah" for quite some time, as in "I'm sick of this farcocktah grant proposal," but I only recently learned that if it is used with a linking verb, it should be declined to farcocked, as in "This grant proposal is utterly farcocked."
• Vagary. Always plural, as far as I can tell. I like it cause it sounds like it's related to "vague" but it isn't.

These are some terms and phrases Mike has been overusing.

• We're getting the band back together! I have no idea what this refers to. I believe it connotes sarcastic joy. Apparently it has infinite applications.
• True or False. He picked this up from one of his baseball buddies, and uses it to restructure questions like "Are we out of toilet paper?" to "True or False: We are out of toilet paper." Your answer must be phrased as "That would be a false" or the reverse.
• Batshit Insane. Sometimes this is varied to "crazy as a pile of guano."

I think Mike is cooler than me.