The Incredibly Gassy Epidemiologist

You know what's really unprofessional? Farting in other people's offices. A coworker of mine whom I will call Daphne has, apparently, a terrible problem with flatulence. I'm sympathetic; it's not like I expect her to walk outside every time she needs to let one rip. In fact I accept that when I go into her office I have about a one in three chance of stumbling through a fart miasma. It's her office, and she's entitled. But farting in my office? That's just rude. And I know exactly what she did, too: she waited for me to go down the hall and then snuck in on the pretext of picking up a document from the printer, tooted, and bolted. Now I am left with a fart miasma not of my own making, which is disgusting. Besides, people come in and out of my office all day long, and they're going to think I'm the one that dealt it. I have no doubt that it is Daphne's miasma, either; I recognize her signature scent. How would she feel if I walked into her office and blew a big snot rocket on her monitor? I can't work under these conditions. I can, however, blog.